


I Want More but I'm Afraid to Ask

by OllieDeclan



Series: Kagetsuki Fics - Miscellaneous [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Nothing but un-betad fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Trans Kageyama Tobio, pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 16:24:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17348558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OllieDeclan/pseuds/OllieDeclan
Summary: Unbeta'd fluff between two boys who just want to feel loved.





	I Want More but I'm Afraid to Ask

Tsukishima liked cuddling Kageyama. He was more clingy than you’d expect, but he was warm. He was like a personal heater, and Tsukishima’s cold heart found that endearing. He knew that when winter came, he’d be able to use Kageyama to keep him warm. He’d hated touch as a kid, and admittedly still did, but Kageyama was different. He was different and isolated and wanted nothing more but to feel loved. It was nice, Tsukishima supposed, that their no-strings-attached relationship was just the thing he needed. Sure, his issues of touch were deeply rooted in his sensory disorders, but on they went hand in hand with his fear of genuine commitment.

For half a year they kept their timid intimate relationship a private thing. They weren’t dating, and so they both reasoned that they didn’t need to tell anyone. They avoided suspicion by only texting about sleepovers and study sessions, instead of blabbering around their team.

And they hadn’t changed their dynamic outside of when they were cuddling, either. They still got on each other’s nerves and did nothing but fight. But when it mattered, they cared. And they both knew that for what they had, they cared too much.

It had gotten to a point where they sent goodnight texts and had inside jokes, and even started practising together outside of school. And neither would admit that they wanted this, that genuinely they wanted this close of a relationship, so they kept quiet, both thinking that the other didn’t feel the same way.

Tsukishima loved the way Kageyama got angry. His face would scrunch up, and he’d start squawking out replies instead of barking them. He loved the way he was happy too, all small, shy smiles and nervous fiddling with his hands. Tsukishima had only seen him excited for things other than volleyball twice, and his facial expression kept in the back of his mind, even when Kageyama was mad and yelling. 

He looked like a child, mouth wide in an unhindered smile. His eyes would dilate and look around eagerly. And his hands, oh his hands. He fiddled more than usual, but it was adorable. He couldn’t keep still, in any sense of the word, and so he found anything to fiddle with. The second time he had gotten excited, it was at the acceptance of his formal, legal name change. He was so giddy to tell Tsukishima the news that he fiddled with the other’s hands as he spoke. That had made Tsukishima smile, genuinely, as he saw his almost-boyfriend finally get what he deserved. 

\-----

Kageyama liked being held by Tsukishima. He wasn’t short, but Tsukishima was a giant in comparison, and so he found himself leaning into the taller boy every chance he got. It was easy for Tsukishima to tell - even in public Kageyama would go out of his way to slot himself under the other's arm, or purposefully hide his face in Tsukishima's chest.

Which got them to now.

It was the night before an away game, and Tsukishima had agreed to stay the night with Kageyama. He was home alone and anxious about the day to come, and so Tsukishima had decided that it would give them a chance to study and cuddle.

And so that’s what they did. Tsukishima had collapsed over Kageyama, an arm lazily around his waist and pressing his weight into Kageyama’s back. Admittedly he was paying more attention to the other’s slightly flushed cheeks than his homework, but he found it cute. It was times like this that made Tsukki’s cold heart begin to warm; when he could grasp at the unspoken words they had both shared and believe that he was important enough for Kageyama to keep in his life. 

But it scared him too, that he could imagine himself, the cold-hearted Tsukishima Kei, falling into domestic bliss with none other than the King of the Court. So he held him tighter and pretended that he could live with Kageyama leaving him behind.

And he wondered why he cared. He didn’t think he cared too much for Kageyama, physical intimacy aside, so he wondered why it mattered if Kageyama got a romantic partner. 

Said boy began to shift under him, unfurling and pushing back against his weight.  
“I’m tired, Tsukki.”  
“Don’t call me that,” Tsukishima snapped back, but Kageyama gave him a look that said that he could see through him.

Tsukishima picked him up gently, chest to chest with Kageyama’s arms around his neck and his legs around his waist. Kageyama just hummed, mumbling something incoherent into Tsukishima’s shirt.

He’d realised how light Kageyama was the first time they’d cuddled; he was like a stick under his baggy clothing. And Tsukishima was grateful, in a sense. Kageyama loved to bury himself into him, to lie on top of him and curl up into an impossibly small ball. When they first started cuddling it was challenging to get comfortable as Kageyama would close in on himself and hide, a dense mass of anxiety and goodness knows what else.

But now he was more loose, allowing himself to spread across Tsukishima’s whole chest and intertwine his limbs with the other’s. 

It certainly helped that Tsukishima had noticed Kageyama’s odd behaviour and asked him, very bluntly, if he was trans. After that, it was like a weight had been lifted from Kageyama’s shoulders, at least when the two of them were alone, and he could finally get the attention he was craving so much.

Tsukishima flopped onto his bed, earning a loud grunt from Kageyama. He made a half-assed attempt to cover them with sheets but gave up when Kageyama audibly growled at him for keeping him awake. Kageyama dug into him, nuzzling up against his chest.

And that’s how they fell asleep, Tsukishima’s hands kneading small circles into Kageyama’s scalp and the latter replying with soft grumbles and murmurs.


End file.
